Secular Humanists say they’re opposed to the teaching of religion in school, but doesn’t it really mean that they don’t want any religion but their own taught? Because they do want our teachers to teach Science (the main doctrine of Humanism) to our children… even though the vast majority of teachers weren’t raised as Scientists, and have chosen to avoid studying its texts themselves. Whether you’re a Christian, a Catholic, a Jew, a Mormon, even a Muslim, if you work for a public middle school, you can legally be required to teach not your own religion, but Science… believe it it or not.

Furthermore, it’s a false religion. They claim that God does not exist, which is provably wrong, even by the work of Science’s own founders. Philosopher René Descartes, one of the early prophets of the Scientific Revolution (they revere him for corrupting the symbol of the holy cross, to use for the Cartesian graph coordinate system), proved his own existence through thought alone (“I think, therefore I am”), without conducting a single “experiment” with chemicals and electron colliders. He went on to prove in his epistle Meditations on First Philosophy (Chapter 3, Argument 2) that God exists too!

But the Humanists ignore that part, picking and choosing from the works of their own prophets, just as they accuse Christians of doing. You either believe it all, or you don’t believe it… at all.

Christians take a lot of flak for the fact that we don’t agree about everything: some believe that you need to confess your sins to a priest, others believe that you need to ask forgiveness for them directly from God, etc. But that just shows how open-minded Christianity is compared to Science, which insists that there is only one Scientific Method, and anyone who doesn’t follow it is shunned. If you find the truth on your own (like their own Descartes did), but can’t get it accepted by the aristocratic Peers who run their Scientific Journals, no one else in the religion will accept it.

Granted, the Catholics work pretty much the same way (you have to run everything past their Cardinals and Pope), and maybe some other religions do too, but Reformation Christianity allows anyone to divine the truth, without the restrictive need for laboratories or academic degrees. (Now with the Bible available on tape, you don’t even need to be able to read!) Anyone can open their Bible and figure out the truth, about nearly anything!

Walking on water is one of the most famous of Biblical miracles. Obviously rising from the dead is the most famous, but this one has to be right up there with turning water into wine… which really wouldn’t be appropriate for a boy of Billy’s age, even if he appears to be much older in his form as Captain Miracle.

Unfortunately poor young Billy is enduring a trial by fire here (to mix metaphors a bit), confronting a villain such as Gaia Rites. In terms of temptation, she’s a triple threat: a homosexual, a pagan, and a shameless woman exposing her breasts for all the world to see. Fortunately Billy seems able to keep his attention focused where it belongs, and confronts her.

Here is it is: the very first appearance of Captain Miracle. Except for the cover. And the opening splash page. And the drawings I did for Ozzy before he started work on the project.

His costume is designed to distinguish him from all of the false secular superheroes out there. Unlike the garish multi-colored costumes of Superman or Spider-Man, Captain Miracle wears white. Not off-white – no eggshell or cream or ivory – just pure, holy white. Plus golden yellow, symbolic of the richness that God grants to those who place their faith in Him. The symbol on his chest represents both the Holy Cross on which Jesus paid the ultimate price for our sins, and the ray of light that transforms Billy into Captain Miracle.

Because yes: Billy Batista himself is also transformed. No longer held down by the darkness of sin, he stands tall and powerful, almost radiant with the light of God shining out thru his skin and hair and eyes.

One of the tricky things about writing a superhero with powers from God is to pay close attention to the source material. Sure, God is omnipotent, so in theory there isn’t anything He couldn’t do. He could give Captain Miracle the ability to create a rock so heavy that he (Miracle) can’t lift it. He could give Miracle X-ray vision or the ability to shoot webbing from his wrists or adamantium claws.

But there’s no evidence in the Bible that God ever gave those powers to any man, even when that man was Him. So maybe God has placed them off-limits. Or they might be powers that only the Devil would give to a man, and I don’t want to make that mistake. So the deal is only the kinds of miracles that were documented in the Bible. And none of that Apocrypha nonsense, either: just the real, canonical Bible.

The origin story of Captain Marvel (the original one) was wish fulfillment fantasy in its purest form. (Well, aside from the blasphemous pagan stuff, and mixing Biblical King Solomon in with all that.) A young orphan is wandering the streets of the big city when a mysterious figure approaches him from the darkness and entices the boy to come with him. Clearly something wonderful awaits!

Or maybe not.

Our Billy is more world-wise than that one, and he understands stranger-danger. But how can he say “no” to an invitation such as this?

Captain Miracle is a new kind of superhero for the troubled times in which we live. Unlike traditional superheroes such as Captain Marvel, who gets his powers from mythical pagan gods, or like Miracleman, who gets his powers from modern science, Captain Miracle gets his powers from God Almighty!

Captain Miracle fights the forces of evil:

• Gaia Rites – a Pagan lesbian who values the earth more than men
• Prof. Atheos – a Humanist whose inventions defy God’s providence
• Sodom al-Mohammed – an Islamic terrorist slaughtering American soldiers
• The Anti-Miracle – the Captain’s devil-powered counterpart
• and a mysterious being who appears to be unstoppable!

The adventures of Captain Miracle will begin on Friday at sundown on April 29. Updates will be posted every Sabbath.